Untitled
*little boy getting a hard time from some adults about his imaginary friend in church*
Little boy: Mom can you see god?
Mom: No
Little boy: Is he you friend?
Mom: Yes of course
Little boy: So God is an imaginary friend for grownups?
Mom: I guess so
Little boy: so why did they give me such a hard time about Fred!

So I was in biology today we were talking about the ocean and I kid you not in his exact words “so the foam in the ocean, is that whale sperm?” No just no this is an honors class too.

patienceruby:

achoomnida:

today in English class my professor started talking about abortion and all the guys in class started having a debate on whether girls should be allowed to get an abortion or not and no girls were talking so i got mad and yelled “NO VAGINA NO FUCKING OPINION” and everything got really quiet and the professor just said “discussion closed, next topic”

i offer you my highest respects, my liege 

milfsh4ke:

I WATCHED THIS FOR LIKE FOUR THOUSAND MINUTES AND THEN I GOT ANGRY

milfsh4ke:

I WATCHED THIS FOR LIKE FOUR THOUSAND MINUTES AND THEN I GOT ANGRY

hamsterangst:

WHENEVER I TOUCH CEILINGS I FEEL REALLY POWERFUL

cityblue30:


mad0ka:

THIS BUG JUST FLEW AT MY COWORKER WHO WAS SMOKING AND LITERALLY TOOK HIS CIGARETTE FROM HIM AND IS NOW CHILLIN ON THE WALL WITH IT


Mantids are dicks like that

cityblue30:

mad0ka:

THIS BUG JUST FLEW AT MY COWORKER WHO WAS SMOKING AND LITERALLY TOOK HIS CIGARETTE FROM HIM AND IS NOW CHILLIN ON THE WALL WITH IT

Mantids are dicks like that

Schoolwork more like SchoolTwerk
heyfunniest:

single dads are the most hilarious.

heyfunniest:

single dads are the most hilarious.

hahry:

a venn diagram of the things george washington said not to do and the things america did would be a circle